When I first moved to the homestead in 2009, I knew nothing about the country way of life, let alone self-reliance. I had never showed an interest in anything country, because I was a born and raised city girl. Never in my then 43 years had I dreamed that I would be living on the once farm land that my mother grew up on as a child.
I live behind my Aunt Mary Ellen, in a small house that is about ten steps from her back porch. When I was lost, and scared, she and my Uncle Keni offered me the small house until I decided what I wanted to do. What was supposed to only be a couple of weeks, has so far turned into ten years...LOL!!!
It wasn't that I didn't know what I would LIKE to do, the Good Lord just hadn't put me in the position to do it. I felt that he was keeping me here for some reason, and through the ten years he has showed me that was just the case. From the loss of my Uncle Keni, to my Aunt Mary Ellen being alone for a few years, to my now sick Uncle Lucian, my family has needed me, I feel, in some way or another. In the over scheme of his plan, the Lord has showed me in each stage just why he has kept me here.
I have struggled financially from the very day I moved here, and when I think about it, that was also the Lord's way of making me stay put. He knew that if my needs were met, and not so much my wants, that I would realize, in the end that this is where I am to be. For years, I would look at rental property back home, and agonize over wanting to leave here. I wanted to be where I once felt comfortable. Where I knew my way around and felt secure. But, in the last few months, I have decided that for now, this is my comfortable and secure place. It is where I work, where I live with Miss Rooh (and Baby Booh until she passed last November), and I have family members near by that on a daily basis show me what I mean to them. I would not have that back home. So, I have decided to stop looking for my happy place, because right here, right now...this is it.
It took me ten years to get to this understanding. Ten years of woulda, coulda, shoulda. Ten years of pulling myself back up by my boot straps. Other than the homestead, which my Aunt owns, everything me and Miss Rooh have we earned. Through times of worry, doubt, and even times of not near enough to pay the bills. But, we did it. It goes to show that the Good Lord will put you where he wants you, and will give you what you need. I guess I just had to learn that.
Now, I am living by that faith (hence the name of the homestead) because it has done pretty well by me for the last ten years. No reason to think it wouldn't continue to do so :)
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